Foodlandia.

Portland is absolutely a food town. You can’t swing a cat around here without hitting a trendy eatery. Yeah, some of it is just hipster food. But some of it is really good stuff just dressed up like hipster food because you gotta do what you gotta do. There’s a little bit of everything. I’ve had excellent Lebanese, Ethiopian, Greek, Thai, Mexican, sushi, pho, pasta, sandwiches, tapas, all manner of alcoholic beverage, and every sort of vague continental European thing out there.

But I am from the South. THE South. The weird bit, even.

And there are just a few things that I’m having a hard time finding.

  • Conch fritters. Also, anyone who knows what a conch is.
  • Boiled peanuts. Like, the kind you buy from a guy in a wifebeater on the side of the highway.
  • Grits, shrimp optional but recommended.
  • Gator. DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT.
  • Fried okra. To be fair, I have had some pretty good fried okra, but it goes on the list so I get to go back, have more, and this time take a picture and make an official comment. 😀
  • Collard greens, and you gotta have that hot pepper vinegar to go with.
  • North Carolina-style BBQ.
  • South Carolina-style BBQ.
  • Honestly, the BBQ scene here is severely lacking.
  • Although I don’t know if Portlanders like to acknowledge those states.
  • LOL THE SOUTH AMIRITE?

So this summer I’m making it a personal mission to track down a few nibbles from the Motherland. Stay tuned. I’ll leave you with a glorious surprise find from two years ago, when I maybe had to call my dad and send a photo.

cheerwine

PS YES I KNOW CRACKER BARREL IS OPENING SOME RESTAURANTS UP HERE SIMMER DOWN. … Also, my mom already sent me a gift certificate.

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